Day 71/252. The mountain.

This morning was difficult, it was like everything was happening around me and I wasn't registering any of it.
Then Andy gave us a picture to think about. He said this point in term is like a mountain with a very steep face. Some of the faces and more slanted and not as tough but this week especially it like a sheer cliff. He encouraged us to just hold on, with all we have, with a pick axe. Just hold on, it will get better. This is one of the hardest weeks!
I thought it was just me until he said that, granted I've been away but I was feeling the atmosphere!
It's time to stand firm again, be steadfast as it says in James.
This is my turning point. To stand on my path and do not sway. (see Picture!)

Day 70/252. The Worst Day.

Lots happened today. Too much.
Today was the only part of the SBS so far when I've considered if this is worth it?
I don't feel part of the experience of the school and I'm not excited to study.
I'm really not sleeping well.
Maybe this is just a bad day, let's hope that's all it is!

Day 69/252. Back to the Lodge!

Today was back to the Lodge day. Hard to leave home because I become more in love with Shrewsbury every time. But know I'm on the right path for now.
Got to spend time with Dad in the car on the way back and see his scissor sharpening business first hand!
Got back to Dinner for 8 at Andy's place, was so nice with an open fire, good foods and good friends.

Day 68/252. Studying from Home. Book #16 Titus #17 James

Today I studied from home, next to our open fire. Marinating in home, family and wood smoke. Definitely turned a corner in my health.
Enjoying James!

Day 67/252. Attempt #2.

Time to let go. Today I attempted to go out again to get my strength back. It was great! Mum and I were in town and just enjoyed the Christmas-ness! I really love my home town.
Learned a bit more of what it means to rest in myself when I have no control over circumstances.
I had a dream that I had gone back to the Lodge too early, I had a terrible time then I heard a loud voice say: "You only have one body". I woke up straight away because the voice sounded like it was in the room with me.
Then it dawned on me, I need to look after myself because this is the only body I have. I think God has been trying to tell me this and I'm finally getting it.

Day 66/252. Decision to stay. Book #15 2Timothy

Today I decided to stay at home. That was a hard decision.
I really want to go back but still unwell.
Tough to admit weakness but necessary.
Read and did horizontal for 2 Timothy.

Day 65/252. Attempt #1. Book #14 1Timothy

So the plan was to go back to the Lodge tomorrow. Therefore, today marked attempt #1 of getting dressed and out into the world.
I woke up with a swollen sore throat and finding it hard to speak. Great start.
It took me forever just to get ready, still feeling exhausted. Managed to go into town with Mum, was all going well...then it got kinda busy, people were everywhere, I got really hot and dizzy and felt so sick.
We found a cafe and I sat down sipping hot lemon tea wondering why I'm not better yet.
My poor Mum had to put up with my grumpiness and then we came home. Mother's are amazing you know. If you ever read this Mum... i love you!
So now I'm home again feeling sick and wondering how on earth I'm going to go back tomorrow and start a new week.
I read 1 Timothy tonight and did my horizontal, probably shouldn't have but I wanted to do something.
I also made some filters for my camera. Now I feel like I've ran a marathon. Literally.
God, I don't know how to get better, please help me x
.....I think maybe you are telling me how I'm bad at resting...hmmm.