Peace

So, I’m moving out and packing up my life. Our little staff flat is piled up with plastic boxes containing my belongings.

It’s been over 5 years since I first joined YWAM. That first day I stepped on board the Next Wave ship I had just quit my job in a shop. I had no clue what God had in store for me, but I knew the excitement I felt was for the beginning of a journey that could take me anywhere. Later that summer we set sail for the Mediterranean and the rest is history.

Now packing up my things again, I feel the same excitement I did then. Like a strange peace that is anything but of this earth.

In human understanding none of this makes sense. I've just turned 30, I want to have my own home, to settle down, build up some finances, and have a simple beautiful life in England. So, this summer I spent time with God, he knows my heart better than me after all and I start thinking of the Bible.

How am I supposed to base my whole faith on this book if I don’t even know it? How do I live by it and stand on the truth of it? Most of all do I really know the heart of my God? How can I move forward one moment more without getting into these questions... All these things start to stir in me and I remember how I wanted to do the SBS years ago.

I even applied to the course 2 years ago, back then all the doors firmly closed, but now.. Now they full opened, things falling into place. There's been so much confirmation from God, that I felt the strange, undeniable peace again.

So with all my hearts desires turning 30 the opposite has actually happened; I’m uprooting from the flat I’ve lived in for 3 years, the place I made home. This is the place I’ve lived in the longest in my adult life. I go from this into a student room in a bunk bed might I add, oh yes. I’m going head on into a course which by every definition I’ve ever read is deemed ‘intense’ and I’m doing it all without having the money to actually do it!

This is either crazy or something quite beautiful.

But the peace is the key, the deep certainty to my core that God has got it, whatever happens.

Life is certainly strange and beautiful with my Jesus!